RESOLUTIONS – editor’s letter mar 2010

Editor’s Note: Following is a page from my spiritual journal.

2009, The Gainesville Sun and Channel 7’s “5:30 News” carried features about New Year’s Resolutions. As I sat on my flowered couch, I muted the news anchor and thought over my 2009 accomplishments. Lifting a pen from a side table, I scrawled a list of do-ings on the back of a nearby envelope.

        “Bus Ride” was the first thing I wrote. I had begun re-writing my story in Septem-ber.  “Ninepatch” came next. I had published eleven issues.

I thought on. My drawer of Hallmark cards had thinned. I’m doing a fair job of keeping up with my friends. I had also embarked on a five year effort of being more “present” to my sons and grandsons. In May, I bought a condo in Michigan and went North to spend the summer near my kids.

 While in Michigan, I saw a lawyer and executed a fresh will and new trusts. I finally finished mountains of related paperwork, too! 

I considered my list. I’ve been too busy.  My 2010 resolution was to cut my commitments and stay home two days a week. As I planned how to accomplish my goal, I thought my annual assessment was done.

But, when I lifted the January 2010 page of my 28”x24”desk calendar, February — my birth month — “spoke” to me. In the back of my mind I heard, How’s your spiritual life going?  Are you becoming the person you want to be?” 

        To address these questions, I settled down at my computer. Staring at the gray-edged white page of WORD, I tapped my keyboard.

I do have intentions. One is to become ‘a better person’ which I define as being more aware of my behavior.   Am I accomplishing this? At the last pot luck, did I avoid the Darla who always seems sad?  When I met with Paula for coffee, did I talk too much, and prevent ‘real’ listening?  Have I been sharp with my husband over social activities? Did I tease him about not hearing well?  The answers to those questions are yes, yes, yes and – since teasing is negative – yes.”

I got up and walked away from the illuminated screen. That’s surely not every-thing… In the kitchen I poured a cup of coffee. I stood at the sink and looked out a window, sipping. Yes, there’s more…

I padded back to my home office, sat down and resumed typing.

        “I also aim to have ‘a closer relationship with God.’  If I intend that, what actions am I taking?  Do I pray? Meditate? Spend time in silence? Read inspirational words? 

 I paused and recalled my New Year’s resolution. 2009’s busy-ness has taken a toll. I often slip into sleep before my prayers are done and I have no regular mediation practice. I have a quiet period just three or four times a week. I do read holy words — but not every day. 

I typed, “My intentions aren’t enough It’s time to make a conscious effort to improve.”

 I paused and finished my evaluation with a prayer for my coming year, “May my next birth year carry me further with my intensions.”

May your birthday also bless you with spiritual considerations.

 

        Frances fritzie

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