our special topic – mth apr 2011

FORGIVING MYSELF

Of all the people I might forgive, I have the most difficulty pardoning myself. I hold myself to standards that are higher than those I maintain for others.

People make mistakes. I accept the truth of the statement “To err is human…” But in my heart, I feel like I should not err…

When I fall from my expectations or I fail in a task I hope to achieve, I experience the same outcome. Whether I’ve failed myself, my daughter, my husband or anyone who was counting on me, I find it almost impossible to forgive myself. I end up holding a great deal of self-directed anger — a heavy weight.

After many years of thinking about this problem, I’m still not sure how to go about relieving myself of the transgressions that stand solidly in my mind. I continue to be burdened by events that happened years ago.

The one consolation I have is I’m not the only person who has this trouble.

Christa (Dec. ’10) adds, “Sometimes it seems I’m the only one who’s erring.”

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