around the frame apr 2012 – our experiences

Hi Frances,
Thanks for the Ninepatch.  I enjoyed it, especially Liz/ Moascar’s raft and take on the self-discovery exercise.  I like the idea that the river/road is the journey and also how she relates with the raft floating down the river and doing what ever pre- sents itself.
It was also fun to pretend to share your birthday hamburger and real milkshake with you.
Hope your trip north went well.

Palma (Feb. ’12) adds, “My only sister was recently diag-nosed with terminal cancer. She’s holding her own but going downhill.  I flew to Arizona to see her recently. Not sure when I’ll have to fly back.”

I enjoyed your Feb. ’12 story — the one about Ani and The Windhorse. 
Your habit of keeping a pad readily available for quickly noting what you remember about your night’s dream is something I’ve intended to do over the years — but never have done. 
As well as I remember them, my recent dreams have seemed more and more to include my parents in some way.  Both have passed now passed on. 
In my youth I was often critical of them, but in my dreams there’s a sense that I’m simultaneously perplexed and awed by the fact they loved me.  As each dream unfolds, I feel a sense of resignation that time passes into a change wherein I, too, will join them — wherever they now are. 
As you often seem to do,
I conclude that change is point-ing me in a direction.  Then I ask “Where?” And, “What should I do about it?”  
Here’s hoping you get some rain in Florida.  We’re finally getting wet here in Texas.

 Fred (Jan.’11) says, “My dream-self asks questions. It’s almost as if there’s some answer!”


Dear Frances,
How life can change! In a day … in a moment… .
 I was looking forward to our family reunion. The day before, after shopping, fighting with my husband and stress building, I didn’t sleep well. I woke up in terrible pain. My left leg hurt so bad I could hardly walk. I was in such pain I wanted to go to the emergency room.
  What did my husband do? He went downstairs to our daughter Molly and asked her what she thought. I was scared.
 Molly talked it over with her husband and they decided I was dehydrated.  “Drink lots of wa-ter. Eat some bananas. Muscle spasms and pain come from lack of fluids and potassium.”
 Molly’s husband said, “You will waste everyone’s time if you go there. You will lay there for hours and they will end up say-ing the same thing and sending you home. You’ll ruin every-one’s reunion plans. Just calm down.”  The three of them nodded their agreement.
 But I made my husband take me anyway. He dropped me off at the hospital. I had a blood test and an IV– something for the pain. My older granddaughter stayed with me and held my hand.
 After several hours the doctors told me, “Get dressed.  You can go home.”  They had been concerned about a blood clot, but the test showed that wasn’t the case.
 When I got home, I asked my dad if he still wanted to go to the reunion at the park. He said “Yes!” He didn’t stop to get his walker or swallow pills, I didn’t comb my hair or change clothes. We just went!
 We were not too late. I was welcomed with a big hug from one brother. Everyone was still there.  Everyone was glad to see us.
The next day when I got up to take my shower, my left leg was purple! “Nothing wrong” the ER had said. I don’t think so.
My husband took me back to the ER and stayed with me this time. They gave me another IV and talked about doing an ultra sound test — but they didn’t. They just sent me home.
Monday I saw my own  doctor. She said, “That looks awful. I don’t know why they didn’t do an ultra sound.” She ordered one and when she saw it, said I had a hernia and should see a surgeon.
When I went to see that man he said, “Who said you have a hernia?  You have a badly torn muscle. It will heal in time.” (No surgery.)
 Thank the Lord, I have healed quickly and was able to apply for vacation time pay to cover my days off from work.
I am still praying the forty-day plan for my husband.  I caught myself telling a bad story about him twice and had to start over.
I still wait and pray for a better life.
Thanks for listening.
Love and prayers,
Linda Sue

LindaSue (Mar. ’11) says, “Hoping the next time I write I will have that new apartment. The landlord said she has two units that should be empty soon.”


Dear Frances,
  I just started to read a book called, Courage to Grieve, Creative Living, Recovery, and Growth through Grief  by
Judy Tatelbaum. Every week, I  also go for bereavement group counseling or they come to the apartment. (I miss Uncle Jerry!)
There are quite a few people in the support group from all walks of life. Everyone grieves in different ways, but we all ex-perience the same loss. I know it will take a long time before my life is back to a ‘normal way of living.’  
 It is a constant uphill battle.   I have to make certain that I eat well and right, and walk, and keep my head above the sand, at times it is easier to bury my head in the sand.
 I am having a major adjust-ment, but I will survive some-how with the help from you and others.
  Warm wishes,

Lotte deRoy (Mar. ‘12)  adds, “Some days I am sailing on the high seas and other days
— for no apparent reason  — I am at the bottom of a bottomless ocean.”


Hey, Frances!
Strange that your email ar-rived today with Ninepatch attached.  I realized how much I’ve missed reading it.
A lot has changed in the last few years — though when does it not!  There have been the usual heart aches, heart breaks, and even a back-stabbing when I discovered a so-called friend was not a real friend. You know the drill.
A dear elderly friend of mine died on Christmas day. Later, in the week and a half before her memorial (See next.)
service the end of January, I experienced some miracle mo-ments. (I don’t know what else to call them.) I later realized that perhaps her spirit was the “cause.”  She wanted me to be calm for her service. (She must have “known” the former friend would be there.)  And, I was calm. A religious friend said it was God protecting me.
The calmness also helped me settle down after the friend’s betrayal. Sure, I still get angry but nothing like I used to.
Now your email showed up!
Things do happen for a purpose.  I can believe it is God or some-thing other. Whatever it is, I go with that peaceful flow.

 Malania (Nov.-Dec. ’02)  adds, “Down the road that calming peace/peaceful calmness can be worn as a cloak.”


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