Dear St. Frances

Dear St. Frances,

I’ve been thinking about families and other people: what should happen as opposed to what does. I am stuck on the idea of forgiveness.

Things happen. Why? Sometimes, I never learn the reason. I have to simply forgive. It can take years.

There is one person I want badly to forgive. But I each time I try, my anger issues prevent it. (I would love for this person to leave the area where I live so I would not have to see her, but that will never happen.)

There is a saying, S/He who angers you, controls you. I understand forgiveness lessens the desire for revenge and is also supposed to help with controlling the anger one feels. I think of forgiveness as a way of controlling blood pressure and other health issues that result from constant anger stirring about inside.

There is also the saying, Revenge is a dish best served cold. (Well, yeah!) But there are times when the revenge doesn’t –or can’t –come from the victim. It comes from another place.  It is rather ironic how forgiveness, anger, and revenge often work hand-in-hand to build a protective wall around me. 

The people I can never forgive are often the ones who continually hurt me, continually turn the knife in my back, continually get in my face. It’s up to me to turn around and walk away.

As soon as my mind starts

thinking about that woman, I have to “turn that channel” to something else. Change my thoughts or do a physical activity. Any distraction will do: read a book, call a friend, turn on a radio or TV. Anything that will to get my mind settled.


Malaina (Apr. ‘17) adds, “Forgiveness might take a long time, but keeping me from anger leads me on the path.”

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