Editor’s Note: Following is a page from my spiritual journal.

When the media talks of examining one’s life for New Year’s Resolutions, I think about that and even make a few. Doing so encourages me to also look into my “inner life.” That’s more difficult.

As usual this year I see many strands of meaning. Some appear regularly like different colored beads in a necklace.

One theme of recent months tells me – once again – I am my mother’s daughter. When I was a little girl, I studied Mother and wanted to be just like her. She was smart and she was beautiful! She had red hair and pinkish skin. While she disliked her freckles, I thought them charming.

However, I could never look too much like her. I am a brownette with no freckles at all. But, I am like my mother in many other ways. One is the way we organize our kitchens. Another is wearing make-up. These last few years my lipstick color has been much like Mother’s once favorite, Revlon’s “Wild Strawberry.”

Mother: June 1967

Even the shape and color of spectacle frames are similar! (Compare photos above and below.)

Me: January 2020

Dreams remind me how I am like my mother in yet another way: we like to feed people.

On October 23, 2019, one part of my dream was, “Mother is trying to feed all the relatives … I end up (helping by) making corn pudding and anything else (in the refrigerator) plus beef tips. I feed who I can, Mother did the same.”

I like corn pudding and make it for Christmas and Easter meals. But, what relatives am I feeding in Florida?

On Oct. 28, 2019, my story of the night included, “Cheese spaghetti sauce. It will be a Xmas gift from an old couple (JK and me?) to their friends… The old couple has food and feeds kids …”

I can’t recall ever making a cheese spaghetti sauce. I always go for the red tomato kind, so what can this mean?

On Nov.5, 2019, part of my dream was, “Red beans – specialty of the house. What’s the sauce?” Red bean sauce? I make a cold red bean salad with sweet pickle relish, onion and mayo mixed in. Is there another recipe?

After that, my dreams turned to other themes for several weeks: houses I’m living in, construction, teaching, pets and, yes – even at my age – babies!

Then as suddenly as those food dreams disappeared, they returned on December 2, 2019. After dreaming of being part of a British family, I recorded: “KOBE bean. A British teen eats them. They are large and can be an entire meal.” KOBE? I had written it in all caps! What can that mean?

I reached for my smart phone and asked Google, “What is a kobe bean?” I searched quite a bit past Kobe Bryant the well-known basketball player who was also nicknamed “Kobe Bean.” Eventually, I discovered the word “kobe” is Hebrew. In that language it means, “Yahweh (God) may protect.”

I doubt my dream was about a basketball player! More likely, it carried the Hebrew meaning: God’s protection is complete.

Looking back at my food dreams, I realized I had been considering them literally. Dreams are commonly more representative of other matters. Perhaps there is another perspective.

There is also a spiritual aspect to food. For example, taking communion at church is often considered a “holy meal.” Maybe my dreams are showing me that Mother and I shared or could share some kind of holiness.

I pondered the idea. My mother avoided deep religious or Bible talk. On the other hand, she befriended several older ladies and often helped her younger sister, in one way or another.

She also took time to listen and talk seriously with at least one girlfriend who stopped to visit while I was away at college. I recall Mother also told me about a brother of a classmate who rode his bicycle nearly ten miles to drop in and talk. There may have been others….

I pondered the dream message of “spiritual food.” Mother and I want to give sustenance to our family and various friends. This “food” could be listening as well as inviting people together to share a meal and talk to each other. I liked that idea. Since I believe my Higher Power can speak to me through dreams, I am encouraged.

In editing and publishing Ninepatch I do listen to others and give them a “voice” to be heard. (Newsletter readers also participate!) Maybe different foods are the various types of material being heard and shared. But a KOBE bean is the best kind – a (spiritual) “complete meal.”

I am surely blessed when I listen and share with others. May you share my experience!

Frances Fritzie

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